"May I ask you a question about TCF?" I asked the chairman of the improbably-sized investment company Prandeamus Asset Management when I dropped by to see him this week. "Are you sure I'm the best person for that?" he replied. "1990s dance bands aren't really my thing."
"No," I said. "I'm talking about Treating Customers Fairly." "Oh," replied the chairman. "That's not really my thing either."
"Actually, that may lie at the heart of my initial question," I said. "I wanted to talk to you about Prando's recent decision to stop offering Isas to investors and to transfer the existing assets - somewhere in the region of £650, I believe - that it currently holds on behalf of seven retail clients to another platform." "You're doing that thing again," said the chairman.
"What thing again?" I asked. "That thing where you focus on a business decision Prando's has taken that seemed completely sensible to us at the time but you're going to make it sound silly." "I'm really not," I said. "OK, I can't promise that ... but, to start with, I just wanted to understand your thinking." "Our thinking began with our clients, who are at the centre of everything we do," said the chairman.
"An admirable sentiment," I nodded. "And, as such," the chairman continued, shooting me a funny look, "the decision was taken after careful consideration and we believe it to be in the best interests of our clients. I should also add that the platform taking on the assets has expressed itself pleased to support our decision and looks forward to welcoming its new clients."
"Of that I have no doubt," I said. "And, if I am honest - or if any lawyers happen to be eavesdropping this conversation - I am not even doubting this whole episode has been conducted with the best possible intentions." "Great," said the chairman. "Shall we grab a spot of lunch then?" "Oh come on," I said. "I think we all know there was a ‘but' coming."
"OK," sighed the chairman. "Let's get this over with." "But ... are we absolutely certain this is 100% in the spirit of Treating Customers Fairly?" I asked. "Look - Prando's is not the first asset manager to conclude the direct client game is not worth the candle and it is highly unlikely to be the last so, to be crystal clear, I am in no way suggesting that is the same as ‘Treating Customers Unfairly'.
"Yet, for example, did you consult your clients about what they wanted? Come to think of it, are they technically even your clients anyway? How many of your magnificent seven had financial advisers, who at some point in the past clearly thought it best to open an Isa with you? And if there are advisers involved, did you also talk things through with them before reaching your decision?
"In fact, if there are advisers involved, what do we think about the idea of an asset manager selling one intermediary's clients to another intermediary?" "If I could stop you there," interrupted the chairman. "Yes?" I said expectantly. "No - that's it," said the chairman. "I just wanted to stop you there." "Good one," I said. "But seriously - do you not think these are big and moderately interesting questions to be kicking around?
"They're not even that awkward. I mean, you'll notice how, in common with every other journalist who has covered this story, I've not even asked if the transfer of assets involves any kind of fee." "And I should be delighted if it remained that way," said the chairman. "That said, I have a nasty feeling it won't." "No, you're probably OK," I shrugged. "At least for this week."
"What do you mean ‘at least for this week'?" asked the chairman. "Oh no - this isn't one of our cliff-hanger chats, is it? I thought we stopped doing those years ago." "I'm afraid I have more angles," I shrugged. "Not least on platforms - but we are almost out of time here. We can carry on next week but, for now, were you thinking about KLF, EMF or even TLC at the start?" "I told you," sighed the chairman. "None of this is really my thing."
